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People may now print their own banknotes

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Commerce

New ‘Apostrophe Intervention Kit’ will help preserve punctuation standards

Commerce

M&S suspend AI clothes-fitting technology to ‘make small tweaks’

Family/Education

University forced to allow one-handed clapping after student revolt against ‘jazz hands’

Life/Environment

Election latest: Green Party pledges 1 Trillion trees by 2021

Family/Education

Praise for sacked Head Teacher’s ambitious curriculum

History & Archaeology

Italy apologises for Roman invasion of Britain in 54BC

Politics

Sooty abandons Labour Party to stand as an independent

Health & Sport

Green party promises free High Speed Broadbeans for every home

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Revealed: Jeremy Corbyn’s ‘Letter of last resort’ to nuclear sub commanders

Commerce

ASDA launches clearer food nutrition labels

Life/Environment

Greta Thunberg fired safely across Atlantic from giant catapult

Media & the Arts

Man leaves £6 million Wurlitzer organ on a train

Politics

Disgraced MP says: ‘I thought bathroom salesmen were party-loving cocaine dealers’

Media & the Arts

Sotheby’s still convinced £37 million Mona Lisa is genuine

Security & Crime

Pensioners caught smuggling 37,000 gold toilet key rings on cruise ship

Commerce

Specsavers launches OCT tests for dogs

Life/Environment

Thai villagers solve problem of foxes eating their songbirds

Politics

Two million Hong Kong protesters spray themselves blue to thwart police

Health & Sport

Care Home robot recalled for ‘minor adjustments’

Life/Environment

Greta Thunberg to walk home across sea from Chile

Transport/Tourism

Tourist sues taverna who mistook his bagpipes for an octopus

Commerce

New office chair takes the effort out of standing up

Religion

Norwich Cathedral admits helter-skelter ride was ‘inspired by reading Spoofflé’

Life/Environment

Shout at a snail and it will eat someone else’s lettuces

Commerce

Suffolk man finds proof that Mars Bars used to be two feet long

Science/Technology

Woman (87) makes first crossing of River Uck on jet shopping trolley

Life/Environment

Larry sacked as new cat takes over at No.10

Life/Environment

New homes must provide ‘leisure facilities’ for wildlife

Health & Sport

Report warns excess salt poses ‘a serious health risk for the over 95s’

Commerce

New 99p coin ‘makes 1p coin completely redundant’

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Samples from the archives …

  • Fifty pound note from the Bank of Kyle and Amy Brysdon
    People may now print their own banknotes
    People may now print their own banknotes at home
  • Great Britain takes Bronze in 10m Olympic snowball final
    Team GB finally won its first medal at the Winter …
  • Youths topple Nelson’s statue because they ‘didn’t like his hat’
    Youths topple Nelson’s statue because they ‘didn’t like his hat’
  • Man knighted for removing chewing gum in Queen’s new year honours list
    Man knighted for removing chewing gum in Queen’s new year …
  • 287 alpacas join doomed Geronimo in act of defiance
    Geronimo, the celebrated eight-year-old camelid condemned to death for twice …
  • Heat-sensitive mask shows your lips moving
    Heat-sensitive mask shows your lips moving
  • 2021 Census will include questions on gender of pets
    The Office of National Statistics (ONS) has confirmed that householders …
  • Biden tells Trump: ‘Please clear your stuff out of our bedroom’
    Biden tells Trump again: ‘Please clear your stuff out of …
  • Priti Patel admits: ‘150,000 police records were stored on a Sinclair Spectrum’
    Priti Patel admits: ‘150,000 police records were stored on a …
  • Ice cream van camouflage makes tanks more difficult to identify
    Ice cream van camouflage makes tanks more difficult to identify
  • Virus rejects Trump’s body as ‘unbearable host’
    Virus rejects Trump’s body as “unbearable host”
  • Our bumper Spoofflé eBook is out now on Amazon!
    Our bumper Spoofflé eBook is out now on Amazon!
  • Magnet anglers forced to throw back all knives under 12cm long
    Magnet anglers forced to throw back all knives under 12cm …
  • Trump bans Chinese-owned finance app PikPok
    Trump bans Chinese-owned finance app PikPok
  • Escaped prisoner found in six foot sausage roll
    Escaped prisoner found in six foot sausage roll
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