Observers from the Guinness Book of Records were on hand yesterday to monitor the first descent of Snowdon by a centenarian.
Florence Jones from Cardiff celebrated her 102nd birthday by launching herself from the summit of the 3,560 foot mountain before flying 4.8 miles down to Beddgelert Forest Caravan Site, unfortunately landing in their swimming pool.
Site Manager Huw Williams pulled Florence from the water. ‘She’s a game old bird,’ he said. ‘As soon as she was on dry land, she bummed a fag off me and asked if we’d got any whiskey!’
Florence later told Spoofflé that she had found the experience rather disappointing. ‘I thought I’d at least do a ton coming down but they tell me it was only 97mph,’ she said. ‘I used to test parachutes in the last war, now that was fun! Never mind, next week I’m having a go at drag racing in a Top Fuel car and can’t wait to see if I can get under 5 seconds for the 1/4 mile.’
Well done Flo and congratulations on your magnificent achievement! It was also nice to see that you took your zimmer frame with you . So often these useful pieces of equipment can be seen abandoned by by side of the road and at motorway service stations. One can only assume that the owners have forgotten them and driven off. I can’t help wondering what happens to them when they reach their destination have they another zimmer waiting for them. The NHS are rapidly running out of zimmers and with the value of scrap aluminium things are only going to get worse. Soon there will not be enough to supply everybody with their own Zimmer in hospital and patients will have to take it in turns walk to the toilets.
May I take this opportunity to ask all the ex patients with a spare Zimmer or two in their garden sheds to return them to the hospital and not to sell them on e bay
Thank you Ivan! I really don’t know what Spoofflé would do without the pith in your comments. No other bugger seems to be interested in this daily nonsense but the team here at Spoofflé Towers (now exceeding 230) would like to extend their heartfelt appreciation for your unfailing, witty support.
That’s ok Mr Spooffle. I am glad to hear you are keeping so many people employed down in darkest Kent. As you probably realise I am only too willing to take the pith where I feel it is needed. I think you were starting to live fracking to fracking close for comfort the other fracking day when you came in to contact with the fracking antifracking brigade. Best you stick to the fracking simpler things in life like fracking underwater fracking chess a and fracking grannies jumping off fracking mountains.