BORIS BACKS BIG BEN BREXIT BONG BOOST

Hopes had been fading that Boris Johnson’s public appeal for £500,000 to get Big Ben bonging on February 1st – EU exit day – would succeed.

“I don’t know what the darn problem is,” a despondent Johnson confided to Spoofflé on Monday, “It needs the donker or the plonker putting back and it’s jolly well gone awol.”

But in a surprise development rock legend Roger Daltrey has stepped forward and offered London The Who’s stadium amplifiers and 48 speaker stacks for the big day.

“It’s bleedin’ obvious isn’t it?” Daltrey told us. “Just stick an mp3 clip of Big Ben striking at 43,000 watts and no-one will ever know the difference!”

When our technology correspondent Dr Crispin Grundwald gave the prime minister the news he was ecstatic. “Absolutely spiffingly brilliant news!” he said. “And ‘The Who’, what exactly is that?”

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