A Belgian entrepreneur has perfected a simple new device which he claims produces perfectly square apples every time.
The ‘PommeCube’ is the brainchild of Dr Stefan De Smet from the University of Ghent, an agricultural aid he has dreamed of since he was a child.
Known only for dark chocolates, sugary waffles and a very good cyclist about fifty years ago, Belgium is set to show the world with this product just how far their technology has come. Dr De Smet told us: ‘The PommeCube she is being maked from the Perspex and will be growing the apples up to big ones.’
We understand that the ‘PommeCube’ complies fully with EU Apple Standards Directive ASD-409/APP/236a-07 and will be priced ‘around 25 Euros’. We asked Dr De Smet about his manufacturing capacity and he said: ‘I am making just the one of her right now but I am thinking it must be possible to be making others too.’
Although a brilliant concept on the face of it I am afraid Dr Stefan De Smet is definitely on to something that is just not going to happen. Even as it is designed for the niche market the price of 25 euros per unit is just not workable. With the average tree growing 50 apples the price to set up a tree would be 1250€. So an orchard with a mere 100 trees is going to be 1250 x loads more noughts.
Mass production is obviously going bring prices down but that will have to based on what the advantages of a square apple are. Looks will obviously come first and the improved ease of stacking and storing is important. Against this would be longevity. Standard round apples although taking up more room allow air to circulate round them this essential for correct storage.
One other point is although very attractive the predictability of eating a square apple could be a problem. A standard round apple is simple you just bite it at almost any point and work your way round till you get back to where you started. With a square apple you would have the awkward decision of where to start. On a corner may be and then what to do next? All the other corners perhaps? I suppose this would make it almost round so you might just as well have started with a standard round apple in the first place.
The one thing that could be done with a square apple is that gourmet speciallity of the apple sandwich a treat that should not be missed. This is especially good with a slice of mature cheddar cheese or possibly for the person with very few taste buds a Kraft cheese slice. Mmmmmmm absorootly rubbery!
I suppose this treat can also be tried with the standard apple and a bun if you are prepared to go to the trouble of cutting the
corners off your cheese or heavens above using that foriegn stuff that tastes like soap from Holland with the red waxy stuff on the outside.
No I am very sorry Dr Stefan this concept is a no no and doomed from the start and your perspex moulds will soon be in that place where many a fine idea at the time end up on the two for one shelf in the pound shop!