New mouthpiece enables women with pouty lips to blow into breathalysers

Following recent cases in which women with greatly enlarged lips have claimed to be unable to blow into the standard breathalyser tube, Danish manufacturer DrikSnuse has launched a special mouthpiece to overcome the excuse.

The single-use SN-150 silicone mouthpiece pushes onto a standard breathalyser tube and is claimed to be large enough to accommodate the majority of enhanced lip sizes, from a modest LP4 (usually referred to as a ‘Colchester quickie’) right up to the Hollywood-shocking LP98.

Essex traffic officer PC Jason Pullover told Spoofflé: ‘We’re getting a lot of funny excuses these days, you know, like “I have a throat disorder and can only suck, not blow” and a real corker on Monday night from a bloke who claimed he was a human rights lawyer: “My breath belongs to me so you can’t have it.” Then his trousers fell down and he collapsed.’

The new mouthpiece (referred to in the traffic unit as a ‘Trout Pouch’) will be rolled out across the UK’s 43 police forces in good time for Christmas.