New office chair takes the effort out of standing up

Back pain sufferers have welcomed the launch of a new high tech chair that takes the effort out of getting up.

Priced at £599.99, the ‘Anti-Gravity Erector’ from American manufacturer Sucker Industries claims to combine a ‘state-of-the-art chromium 354 helical steel compression element within an art deco seating environment’.

Our Technology Correspondent asked the firm’s UK Sales Manager, Winston H. Backenheiser, whether the product wasn’t simply a boring old chair with a huge spring stuck in it.

“Holy shit, no – it’s not a chair, it’s a personal verticulation system!” Mr Backenheiser insisted. “This bad boy took 12 years and $200 Million to develop. It’s gonna be a winner!”

Spoofflé managed to track down one of the first companies in the UK to invest in six Anti-Gravity Erector chairs. Sarah Mitchells is head of design at PointyPencil graphics studio and was not impressed with their £4,000 purchase.

“We thought it would make life easier for our staff but it’s been a total disaster,” she said. “Really fat people broke the spring as soon as they sat on it and the skinny ones never got to sit down at all.”

One employee is apparently still in hospital with head injuries after colleagues who had forced her down onto her seat accidentally let go of her when the fire alarm rang.