Pope says ‘Nuns look just like penguins’

There is uproar in the British Catholic community this morning following the publication of an article by Pope Francis in which he says he thinks ‘all nuns, especially the short ones, look just like penguins.’

Writing in his regular column in the Vatican monthly magazine ‘Smoke Signals’, the Holy Father also went on to admit that he thought ‘Bishops’ hats are ridiculous and made them look like a load of chess pieces‘ and that ‘Donald Trump is actually a huge, inflated toy remotely controlled by far right extremists.

A Vatican official later emailed our offices to advise that His Holiness has recently been extremely fatigued and will be taking a short break from writing his column.

However, Spoofflé believes the comment concerning President Trump is plausible and is therefore carrying out its own investigation. Our Technology correspondent, Dr Crispin Theodore Grundwald, is en route to Washington to see if an unexpected prick might prove the Pope’s theory.