Supermarket to let shoppers pick their own coconuts


You may soon be able to pick your own tropical produce from trees planted in the fruit and vegetable aisles at Waitrose and M&S.

Results from a six-month trial have proved so popular amongst shoppers that the range of ‘branch to bag’ produce may be extended to offer middle-class basics such as carambola, acai berries and even the fragrant durian fruit. The trees and shrubs all appear to be thriving under the constant 24 hour misting and store temperature of 36 degrees C. 

Estate agent Rachel Watson-Holmes, 36, says she has never before tasted fruit so fresh. ‘Oh my god,’ she said. ‘Everything is just so moist! And they even give you your own ladder to reach the best coconuts. Oh, and a crash helmet too, which is nice isn’t it?’

We also spoke to Archie Pound as he left the store empty-handed and stripped to the waist.

‘Like a bleedin’ Turkish bath in there,’ the disabled ex-soldier complained. ‘How do they expect me to get them coconuts down, I ain’t climbing no ladder so I was just whacking ‘em wiv me walking stick when they chucked me out. Stuff that, I’m going down Asda.’