In a flurry of 3am tweets, President Trump this morning claimed that Kim Jong-un’s fearsome array of intercontinental missiles were in fact simply commercial fireworks:
“BIG SURPRISE folks – TURNS OUT little rocket man’s projektiles really ARE little!! Like, there ten buck rockits from your local store! Check out these shots the CIA guys blew up with whatever they use, like clever teckie computer stuff which I understand. So FAKE!! We have SO many rockits folks, just MILLIONS, all bigger than anyone else. TRUST me!!”
I feel a lot happier now that nice Mr. Trump has reassured me about that nasty Kim Jong and his lies. I just wish Kim would stick to his full time job of playing snooker and leave mucking about with fireworks to the old expert Mr. Fawkes. He certainly knew his rocketsfrom his Catherine wheels !