Trump launches own social media brand and claims 192 million followers

After last week’s slap on the wrist from Twitter, Donald Trump has retaliated by launching his own social media platform: Twatter.

In a classic 3am Trumpian rant, the president denounced the social media giant as “promulscaping sad FAKE news!” and promised his followers nothing but the truth.

Messages on the new platform (known as ‘twats’) may only be posted by Trump and comments are not permitted. There is apparently no limit on the length of twats, the longest (posted at 4.15 this morning) running to over 11,000 words.

Mr Trump was typically upbeat about his new project. “Twatter is gonna be the BIGGEST social media platform in the WORLD folks, some people will say in the UNIVERSE! I don’t know, we’ll have to see. Maybe the GALAXY. Who knows. You won’t BELEIVE how many great people are already following Twatter, many many BILIONS of them, lots of zeros, all after the TRUTH. Jared says its like 192 millions after just 10 minutes, that’s right 10 minutes! and Jareds clever dealing with numbers, BIG numbers, he’s been like counting them.”

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