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Happy 66th birthday!

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Workman’s toolbox shortlisted by mistake for Turner Prize 2025

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£2.99 masks sell out as Londoners defeat AI facial recognition systems

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SE Water says ‘Tunbridge Wells supply now ‘almost back to normal’

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Head Teacher’s letter to parents of Donald Trump (age 10)

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Sooty nominated as new British Ambassador to the USA

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Kim Jong-un admits that he cuts his own hair

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Donald Trump says genetic engineering is ‘really simple’

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Keir Starmer forced to define ‘working people’

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Donald Trump’s custom Truth Social keyboard

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Steel triangle now approved for Grade 8 music exam

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Local council finally complies with Supreme Court Ruling

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Prisoner cancels Tesco account after third late drone delivery

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Suffolk man finds proof that Mars Bars used to be two feet long

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Five-year-olds receiving lessons on sarcasm

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Inmates caught throwing food parcels over prison wall to relatives

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Sotheby’s still convinced £37 million Mona Lisa is genuine

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£8 TV bought on eBay still receives 1950s programmes

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Amazon announces ‘Hey you!’, a digital assistant for adults that adapts to your mood

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Abacus still works after 66 years in loft

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Ronnie Kray’s pressed flower collection fetches £14,000 at auction

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92-year-old woman wakes from coma to find she has given birth to twins

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Trump perfume approved by Chinese authorities

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Dorset village clock found to be one day slow

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Police AI system generates accurate photos using DNA from a single hair

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New drug gives you memories of experiences you never had

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King and Queen finish rehearsals for Donald Trump’s state visit

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Keith Richards’ dog Plectrum dies at the age of 68          

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BBC launches free TV channel for the ‘Over 75s’

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Therapy sessions for people who pronounce letter ‘H’ as ‘Haitch’

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Taunton Council to tighten staff selection criteria

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Father (53) sat 11-Plus exam pretending to be his son

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Asylum scam: “Please help me, I’m a teenager,” said grandfather, 87

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BBC finally admits that 98% of its presenters are Scottish

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‘Morning after’ pill for men – UK trial abandoned as a total failure

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World’s first head transplant hailed as a ‘partial success’

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New ‘Apostrophe Intervention Kit’ will help preserve punctuation standards

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Woman climbs The Shard to save injured pigeon

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Care Home robot recalled for ‘minor adjustments’

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Unemployed sword swallower charged with jewellery thefts

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Month: May 2019

Security & Crime

Plan to allow future convicts to serve time before they offend

Health & Sport

‘Easier’ golf course closes after claims that it’s a death-trap

Politics

Village forced to use toilets as polling station after Scout hut burns down

Security & Crime

Police admit facial recognition system ‘does not recognise thieves’

Politics

UK milkshake-launcher on sale: another Spoofflé exclusive

Transport/Tourism

Trans-Pennine Express to be re-named to stop passenger confusion

History & Archaeology

Margate man finds rare Roman coin under son’s sand pit

Family/Education

GPs to increase time spent with each patient to 2 minutes

Security & Crime

Crown Court judge wakes up and asks what ‘texting’ means

Politics

Tory whip resigns and apologises for using a real whip on MPs

Health & Sport

Sussex man robbed of Atlantic crossing record as ketchup bottle drifts back to the start

Security & Crime

Nuclear submarine surfaces to clear plastic waste from periscope

Life/Environment

Pet millipede can solve Rubik’s cube in less than a minute

Commerce

Spare hand touches toilet doors so you don’t have to

Politics

Trump claims North Korea’s missiles are ‘just 10 buck fireworks’

Life/Environment

Billionaire offers to deflect deadly comet heading for Earth

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